Say Your Name Like It’s Beyonce’s


I have this inner voice. This bad ass, spunky, energizing, motivating and confident inner voice. I havent always had it. It has come and gone throughout my life. Lately it has been on the ‘gone’ side of the spectrum.

But I was watching Beyoncé music videos one day and I thought to myself, “Damn. This woman knows what the fuck is up. She looks goooood and confident as hell being exactly who she is.” So, later I was brushing my teeth and, because Im a woman and its 2017, my mind wondered what her training schedule must be like. “She probably doesnt miss a damn day of some form of training. And when you have that much money you can afford to pay someone to hold you accountable to it”….was my initial thought. Obviously, I was envious of her body and how fit, curvy and fabulous she is. Then I found my mind wondering in another direction….

I realized that no body gets her out of bed every morning but herself. And her inner voice. No one gets her to training but her. I thought, ‘when she has a bad day, she probably says to herself, “You’re mutha-fuckin-BEYONCÉ BITCH! Now get the fuck up and start acting like it.”
That’s how you get shit done. Immediately after I thought, “Fuck, I wish my name was as strong as Beyonce’s…” but that of course is a joke, right? Because my name is MINE. I realized I could wake up every morning telling myself,

“Come on, you are mutha-fuckin CAITLYN BITCH! Now get the fuck up and start acting like it.”

And you know what, it fucking works.  I dont drag myself around anywhere anymore. If I dont ‘feel’ like doing something (which is a whole other post in itself….I have a theory that we all give ourselves too many opportunities to ‘feel’ instead of just doing something)…anyways like I was saying, if I dont ‘feel’ like doing something I say to myself, “you are mutha-fucking-CAITLYN. Let’s go. Show me what you’re worth”

I am worth a whole fuck ton more than I was giving myself credit for. So, I started saying my name like it was Beyonce’s. And chances are, you dont give yourself enough credit either. So start reminding yourself of who you are and what a bad ass bitch you are. Say your name like it has VALUE and POWER. Because it DOES. You DO. Hold yourself to Beyonce’s standards. Hold yourself to the confidence and self assurance that Beyoncé must have. And dont settle for anything less than 110% from yourself.

Say you name like its F*$@ING Beyonce’s

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Become A Better Yoga Teacher


What makes a really great yoga teacher?  This question is, of course, subjective.  But, if you think of some of the greats and even some of your humble favorites, you will notice a consistent thread that is woven through their practice. I have attended hundreds of yoga classes, listened to dozens of webinars and conducted my own research on what are the top INVALUABLE things you can do to become a better yoga teacher.

These tips will help you develop your practice and teaching content…

RESPONSIBILITY!

How are you getting your content? Where do you get your inspiration from? 

Ideally, you should be sharing your path, your journey and your knowledge from experience.  It is very easy (and trendy) to hop from workshop to workshop being taught by different teachers. Although valuable, you should not rely on these as your only source of experience.  

For example….. Maybe you’ve always felt this burning interest in yoga mudras.  You may have had teachers lead you through chanting meditation or heard other practitioners and students talking about it.  A workshop for teaching yoga mudras comes up near your and you JUMP on the oppertunity to learn ‘all’ about it from someone who has done all the research and practice.  You might not know it at the time, but this is you taking the easy route.  And anyone who knows yoga knows that there is no easy path to anything worth having. So, a couple hundred dollars later,  you attend the workshop and soak up everything the teacher says like a good yogi sponge. Maybe you add it the teachings your daily practice and maybe it sticks for a little while. But, unless you continue to research, learn and add in your own experience, then ultimately it will fade out. How are you going to know where to look or what to research if you have never done it before? Sure, you might figure it out and the workshop sparked the motivation to dig a little deeper, but the point im trying to make is: 

If you were interested in the first place, what was stopping you from teaching yourself? 

We are our best teacher. Take responsibility for that burning interest you had. Type it into google and youtube and go from there.  Add it into your daily practice and see how it changes you and your experience. Take notes and learn what works for you. The more you learn, you can start sharing with teachers who also study and share information.

You never know, you could be the one teaching the next workshop on something you found invaluable to your practice out of pure interest and passion. 

Trust me, a student can tell the difference between a confident self driven teacher and someone who is simply regurgitating information from someone else’s experience. Don’t rely on other people to build your practice or teaching style. Teaching from your own experience is A HUNDRED times more valuable and well absorbed by practioners. 

TEACH

I have been to hundreds of yoga classes where I am instructed in and out of 50 different poses in a span of an hour and a half. Sure, I felt great after but what did I really gain? Did the teacher add any personal value?..unfortunately, not really. 

My favorite classes are when you don’t even notice how the teacher instructed you in an out of the poses, but instead you feel motivated by the pieces of information about how a a twist is helping your digestive system and energize flow. I LOVE learning about what something is doing for me, how it is good for my body, and the benefits from being 100% present and dedicated to it. 

BUILD ON EACH CLASS

It can be difficult to hold onto return yoga students! I know this because I have been that transient student that cant always make it to a class even if I’ve promised to be there.  Life happens.  But, I can say for certainty that the classes I was SURE to make it to, were the ones by teachers who kept us students challenged and growing. They built on every class, paying special attention to each individuals progress level and teaching in a progressive manner. 

If you thread your classes together in a workshop fashion you will increase your chances of returning students. You can say how you are going to build on the class you just had and when the next class will be. This adds immense VALUE to your classes and builds loyalty with your students. 

Sure, there is a load of things you can do to become a better yoga teacher..but these (for me) are the big three. Take responsibility for your knowledge, teach past instruction and build on each class.  These simple but impactful points will enrich your practice and teaching confidence ten fold! Ultimately, reaching more students and assisting them on their own journey with genuine intention and experience. 

Kala Bhairav Mantra To Turn Bad Times Into Good


Kala Bhairava is a fierce manifestation of Lord Shiva. ‘Kala’ represents Dark Times. ‘Bhai’ represents Fear. ‘Rav’ represents Destroyer. So, in all, Kala Bhairava destroys the Dark times and the fear generated from it. When worshiped and called upon, God Kala Bhairav bestows the worshiper with his blessings to turn the Good times. He helps devotees fruitfully utilize their time in securing their goals. This is the reason why he is knows as the Lord of Time. Wasting time in trivial pursuits can be diverted towards a constructive purpose, if one offers prayers and chants the name of Bhairava. He purifies souls with his sheer power and makes odds for favorabe believers.
It is widely believed that Kala Bhairav can solve most of the problems which are pending for a long time.  
To be successful in life more or less boils down to being at the right place at the right time. If we fritter away our time on useless pursuits and can not remember what we did then we are essentially offending Lord Kaala Bhairav. Time lost is lost. Wasting time is tantamount to insulting Lord Kaala Bhairav. If we are mismanaging time and wasting it on frivolous pursuits it is necessary that we worship Lord Kala Bhairav to help us better utilize time towards a constructive end. The direct benefit would also be that you will miraculously be at the right place at the right time when opportunities come knocking. He can bestow good or favorable time on the seeker.

Who can benefit from Lord kaala Bhairav worship:

  • Inability to think or act constructively with the end result being that every activity results in wasting time (mental paralysis is what I would call it)
  • Students spending lot of time in their education still not able to read anything constructively and unable to score.
  • Those working spending enormous amount of time to do the simplest of tasks
  • Facing too many hurdles due to every task taking too much time to accomplish. Lord of Time is unhappy and hence every mole becomes a mountain. eg. If you are doing grocery shopping – some item on the list is unavailable and you end up visiting 4 stores on different part of the town and what should be done in 2 hours takes 6 hours.

“OM SHRI KALA-BHAIRAVAYA NAMO”

“OM HRAAM HREEM HROOM HRIME HROUM KSHAM KSHETRAPAALAAYA KAALA BHAIRAVAAYA NAMAHA”

“OM KAALAKAALAAYA VIDMAHEY KAALAATHEETHAAYA DHEEMAHI THANNO KALLA BHAIRAVA PRACHODHAYAATH

It is understood that there are 64 forms of Kala Bhairava that can be worshipped; these are grouped into 8 each. They are:

  1. Asidanga Bhairava: Gives creative ability
  2. Guru Bhairava: Divine educator
  3. Chanda Bhairava: Gives incredible energy, cuts competition and rivals
  4. Kroda Bhairava: Gives you the power to take massive action
  5. Unmatta Bhairava: Controls negative ego and harmful self talk
  6. Kapala Bhairava: Ends all unrewarding work and actin
  7. Bhishana Bhairava: Obliterates evil spirits and negativity
  8. Sahara Bhairava: Complete dissolution of old negative karmas

CHANTING MANTRAS

I empathize with you if you are someone overwhelmed, intimidated and slightly unsure about the practice of chanting ‘mantras‘.

I remember getting my first set of Mala beads…My teacher asked me what my favorite mantras were – I didnt even know one and I was pretty embarrassed. Hello, imposture syndrome!

I was lucky to have experienced, brave and open minded teachers who would lead chants at the beginning of class as a way to connect mind to body and set powerful intentions. I thoroughly enjoyed singing these chants but only experienced it within the walls of the studio or with some of my Indian friends. With time and a daily asana practice I slowly began to understand more and open myself up to mantras and how powerful they can be. But it wasn’t until I found myself in a moment of desperation that I sought them out myself.  


I was traveling around and living in Thailand at the time.  I had about $7CAD left in my spending account and I was out of options. I had money saved in a separate account but this was being held hostage for my trip to India where I was going to be taking my 200hr TTC in Dharmasala. But, I still had 5 weeks left in Thailand and I was shitting stress balls.  The more I kept trying to make money with things I didnt want to be doing, the less energy I had to use for my yoga practice and studies. I tried massage, writing, personal training, coaching and even thought up new apps I thought would do well. Nothing clicked.

I knew with out a doubt I wanted to share yoga and that I had all the tools and knowledge at my fingertips- but I still needed my TTC. I was able to get a few subbing positions as a yoga teacher but that was hardly reliable and paid very little. I wanted to 10X my yoga buisness but I felt pretty stuck, limited, and at the mercy of time.

After weeks of high stress my body ultimately started to go a little haywire on me.  My skin started breaking out, I wasnt sleeping well anymore, I was getting wicked headaches and I had zero interest or energy to do anything. To be honest, I felt pretty defeated and useless – I could feel myself slipping into a negative pattern of discouraging self talk and although I recognized the feeling, I had no idea how to catch myself.

I got to my mat one day and my entire body was tight, stiff, painful and heavy.  Nothing was working and even though it had only been 2 days, I felt like I hadent practiced in months! That night I had a long, hard talk with my amazing partner.  He could not only see how much stress I was going through, but reminded me (once again) that I was not alone and that I had his support. We decided that I should drop everything that wasnt exactly alligned with what I wanted to be doing.  That meant giving up writing $20 articles that would take me 5 hours each to write for a medical website (my only source of income at the time) and just focus on studying yoga and practicing….I am one lucky woman to have his guiding support because its exactly what I needed.  

I came home that night and went straight to youtube.  Michael was on his computer and must have seen something because he said “Mantras” outloud and with zero context.  This sparked something in me.  I opened up the Ashtanga opening and closing mantras and sang it to him- something I had never done in front of anyone before.  After that I started looking up mantras I was familiar with from practicing in my old studio.

As cliche as it sounds, the rest really was history.  I woke up the next morning early and with a new found vitality.  I was excited to meditate and chant mantra and did so with out hesitation.  

My first chant was calling to Kala Bhairava.  It was easy enough to pronounce and remember, and I resonated with it instantly.  I stayed in meditation for 30 minutes. The only reason I got up was because of the dozens of ideas floating around in my head about what I wanted to do for my yoga buisness.  My spirits felt lifted, I had a clear direction and focus and I wasnt engaging in any negative self talk.  Needless to say, I will definitely be continuing with the mantras and learning all I can about the Demi Gods.  

I cant praise enough how much chanting has enriched my meditation, my daily life, my focus and my yoga practice on and off my mat. I will share my tools and research if you are someone looking for a little extra help in your life.

If you have any questions or comments PLEASE don’t hesitate to reach out. I would love to hear your journey and answer any questions you have. 

Be The Change You Want To See In Yourself

Something we all know, but hardly understand.


If you want something to change, do something about it.  Doing nothing will not make it go away.  So, either decide that its something you love about yourself and learn to love it with genuine tenderness, or be the change that you want to see. What this change is doesnt matter. What does matter is realizing that you could spend a lifetime resenting things about yourself and being compulsively nitpicky about them and expecting them to change without any change in you.  The definition of insane is, performing the same action over and over again and expecting a different result. This insanity will manifest into a lifetime of pain.  Or, you can create change.  You can start doing the things that are going to show the results you desire.  If you don’t like your emotional state, then ask for help if you need it.  If you don’t like how unbalanced and ungrounded you feel, go to some yoga, find yourself lost in nature, and start meditating everyday. If you dont like how tired you always are, take a critical look at your conscious efforts to have a healthier sleep schedule.  Don’t eat later than 9pm, avoid social media or television, and be in bed by 11 with a motivating book. Change is never easy. That is the oldest tale in all the .  So if you want something about yourself to change then you have to FULLY embody that change.  You cant just sit back, have one to two good days and then say, “‘ah fuck it I feel better now, I dont know what I was so worried about before.”Because 2 days later when these issues come at you again, I guarantee that you are going to be right back in the same self destructive pain pattern.  

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN YOURSELF
.
You can not run from your problems.

A change in scenery is not going to change the scenery inside of your head.

Change has got to come from within.  You problems will follow you, no matter how beautiful the places are that you seek.  It will follow you, and although you might be able to distract yourself for a little while, it will creep up the second you settle.   So, stop running. Stop resenting.  Stop resenting pieces of yourself.  Stop resenting yourself for feeling like you aren’t able to change.  And stop resenting yourself and the world around you because you haven’t seen a change.
If you find yourself in a beautiful place where nothing is the matter but you are still finding reasons to fight with yourself, then reflect on what it is that you are rejecting about yourself.  Realize that its not the need to run that is making you uncomfortable, its the stillness of the sitting.  

Upcoming Event: April 1-5

 Ashtanga Fusion Flow Series-

Join us for an intimate and uniting workshop focusing on the traditional ashtanga primary series infused with creative and explorative vinyasa flows. We will work in a progressive manner as each day builds on the last focusing on mind, body and spirit. Get ready for a daily two hour practice including movement, meditation, krias and massage. This workshop is suitable for all practitioners, but especially geared towards those looking to take their home practice to the next level and traveling yogis looking to reconnect. Limited space- conctact for booking.

1200THB WORKSHOP

300THB DROP-IN

Before It All Made Sense

The new mile high club – Written before it all made sense 


Anyways, there’s this couple in the middle row across from me. They don’t have anyone sitting in between them. He is laying down on his side with his legs bent. She is leaning her head on his knees. It’s very sweet. It reminds me of traveling with a partner and how much more comfortable a flight can be with someone there to lean on. 

 But that’s true for life, I suppose. It’s always easier when you have someone to lean on. The problem is though, with leaning on someone- and only one someone- is that it becomes all you know how to do. Because once that someone isn’t there any longer, which they won’t be, you don’t know how to sit or stand up by yourself. It’s like you are a toddler again that hasn’t learned to walk. Regressed. 

And unless by some serious stroke of God or good fortune you get a fire cast under your ass after that someone is gone, you will probably fall. Which will suck. And jimminey crickets does it hurt. And you usually fall into the hole in which you dug for yourself. So it’s dark, and lonely, and muddy, and full of monsters, secretes, and countless fucking bad days. 

But, there is hope. Because only you hold the key. You dug the hole, and that hole is uniquely fucked up to you. You are the only one who knows the way out of it. You can read all the self help, you can listen to all the self empowerment and hear all the success stories…but that’s all those things will ever be.  Help, noise and stories. It’s on you to do the work. Learning to walk again fucking sucks. And you when you get to the top of the muddy wall you had to climb through your blood sweat and a sea of tears, it probably won’t feel like the rainbows, fireworks and bliss that you imagined it would. 

 You should, however, congratulate yourself on making it to the top. Because unfortunately, many do not. Many would rather sit in some half way, half okay, and half functional ledge they made for themselves so they are able to moderately function….you know that ledge well, you have been there, but you knew that wasn’t enough. You knew that more was out there for you, and that you deserved joy. True, pure and honest joy. You knew you deserved peace. You knew that you deserved happiness. So you kept climbing. 

 And now we are back to you making it out. Reaching the top is sort of anti climatic though, isn’t it? It is because you aren’t the same. You have experienced new lows, so you have to go out and find new highs. Because the highs you felt before are not going to do the same for you as they once did. Everything will be different. It will feel like everyone you know is looking at you different. But they aren’t. It’s you that is looking at yourself different. The people you are seeing are just a mirror. So, if the reflection staring back at you feels different, it is because it is. Accept that you are on a journey, and it will take time. It will take time to get to know yourself again. To find new highs. To find new connections. To discover parts of yourself that you only dreamed of. 

 And that is the point, isn’t it? Stepping out of that hole is the starting line. Not the finish line. It will be tempting to take yourself back to the shelter that hole once was for you. Your legs will be shakey and sometimes you might slip. But you have a responsibility to use the tools you’ve taught your bones. They know the way, and your knees will catch you. So stand back up and brush it off. You’re stronger now. It doesn’t always feel like it, I know. But the power in you is unstoppable and you’re the only one who doesn’t know it yet. 

NO ONE is going to pat you on the back for making it out of that hole. NO ONE will even notice. But you will, and that will make all of the difference. 

You can start walking forward, leaving the past behind you. Leaving the muck in the mud in the hole that once was your reality. 

And, one day you will look back at the hole and see a field. You will see a gorgeous, lush, colorful and lively field of flowers that have grown from the seeds you planted during the time you spent digging your way out. You’ll look down at your nails and remember the dirt under them. You’ll smile at what you created. How you took the deepest darkest piece of you and made it something to smile about. And you will smile, because you’ll know you found IT. You found what you knew you deserved. And you have yourself to thank for that. Along the way you learned to ask for help. You learned that it is okay to lean on those who love you, but to never expect it or to expect it all from one single person. You learned that your thoughts really do create your reality, and that positive thoughts and a positive attitude will.change.your.life. You learned that fear is a good thing and that vibes matter. Your instincts and intuition are your most valuable resources. And you learned that anything is possible. If you want a life that you can only dream of, THEN I DARE YOU TO DREAM IT. And then fucking go for it. 

 You don’t deserve a congratulations, you will never get it. But you will get what you fought for, and that is you most true, ever evolving, perpetually happy, dreamiest self full of life and adventures.

Just never forget to take the time to smell the flowers and to water your garden.